Not knowing what , but needing to write !

Sometimes I need to write , but unsure about what. Tonight is one of those times . As I try and relax after a long days at work , I have many thoughts and emotions running through my my heart and brain, yet they are so entwined, I have no idea what any of them are .

So I start typing and before I know it I’m in a trance. I sit staring at the screen , seeing nothing, while my finger is raised and waiting for direction on what letters to hit .

Finger , please tell them of how beaten down I feel at the end of this day . As a firefighter your always ready to respond to an emergency at any given second. Finger tell them how stressful this is and how hard it is to settle afterwards from the adrenaline drug that automatically cruisers through the body without permission. Finger , you are doing awesome. Now finger please don’t forget to tell of the upside of my days.

Some days are worth it all. Days like when I did Compressions for almost two hours on someone and brought them back to live 8 times. Days when I see this person enjoying life 3 years later . These days help make up for the worst of days , like when I couldn’t save the kid in the burning car.

Finger , this is a stupid blog, but it’s what comes to mind as I feel the need to write tonight. Thank you for reading my mind finger , and helping me to write.

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